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Oh Potter, you rotter. [26 Oct 2008|04:28am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

I was reading Harry Potter (book 7) again, and the epilogue got me thinking.

First of all, I think it was lame and unnecessary. At the end, everyone marries their high school sweetheart and is oh so happy and whatever. Ew.
Secondly, Slytherins are evidently still treated like they're already evil. Self fulfilling predictions anyone? J.K. makes this big fuss about inter-house cooperation and at the end, we see that twenty years later, people are still prejudiced assholes.
Third, OMG WHAT WERE THESE GUYS THINKING WHEN THEY NAMED THEIR CHILDREN. Victoire, fine. Appropriately Veela-ish. Tonks, having been stuck with the name Nymphadora probably said Remus J. Lupin if you propose a name that is even slightly abnormal for this child I WILL END YOU. Teddy was a good choice IMO.
Here we get to my issues. Draco Malfoy, you got made fun of for your name on the first day of school by a kid who's last name strongly resembles that of a rodent. It also may have cost you Harry Potter as a friend. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING NAMING YOUR CHILD SCORPIUS. I WILL END YOU.
Then we have the Wealeys (God Hermione, I hope you kept your maiden name). Rose is fine. Pretty. But Hugo? HUGO? I thought that name died out with corsets and the harpsichord. Abysmal.
And thus we are left with Harry Potter. Harry Fucking Potter. Harry "The-Boy-Who-Lived-Yet-Has-An-Unnatural-Fixation-With-Dead-People" Potter. Could you have not come up with a name on your own? Really? I don't care if you want to honor the dead. Naming your children after your dead parents is creepy. If you want to honor them that much, give them new first names, and James and Lily as middle names. And how dare you inflict the name ALBUS on a child. When he gets beat up you will have no one to blame but yourself. Albus Severus. It boggles the mind. Once again, Albus is middle name material, but GODDAMN.

Which brings me to naming. I really think that you should only use a name at least three generations apart. So you could name your kid after your grandmother, but not your father. And certainly not after yourself. I really think there is no greater act of narcissism than naming your child after yourself. Or supreme laziness/severe lack of imagination. Working at an elementary school I really got a taste of this. You see kids with Jr. or III attached to their names, and I really don't understand it sometimes. I'm not saying it's always wrong. But there was one kid, who had a truly awful name, and I met his mother once, and she was young enough, that unless her husband was a real pervert, he must have been young enough for the name to have been awful in his time too. So WHY, if you have this terrible name which probably got you shoved in a locker more than once, would you inflict this name upon your child? Prancibald Peniston III, why would you name your child Prancibald Peniston IV? The best example though, came from one guy, who had three boys, and he didn't have a bad name, but he gave ALL OF THEM HIS NAME. How do you even communicate in that household? Do you assign numbers?

Anyway, feel free to yell at me for this, because it's mostly me just being insane at 4:30 in the morning. Ugh. I'ma go to bed now.

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[23 Oct 2008|01:09am]
[ mood | nauseated ]

I used to hate MASH in middle school. I'd always get the worst results. When I came across this, I thought, hey, why not?

Turns out I still hate it.

Behold... My Future
  I will marry Alanna.  
  After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in North Korea in our fabulous House.  
  We will have 10 kid(s) together.  
  Our family will zoom around in a Puce VW Bus.
  I will spend my days as a Bartender, and live happily ever after.  
whats your future

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Books, books, books. [25 Sep 2008|01:52am]
[ mood | literary? ]

So today, I spent three hours in a shopping center, which I could have spent in many different stores. I spent them all in Barnes & Noble. It is a testament to my love of books that I didn't even go on a Starbucks run. So now, I will rant about books.

Brisingr, by Christopher Paolini- I read the first two, and despite the fact that they were kinda poorly written and that it's basically The Lord of the Rings with dragons, I wanted to get it and read it, to know how the story ends and all that... oh wait, that's right, this was GOING to be the last book, but now it's not anymore. Verdict: IGNORE.

The Mortal Instruments trilogy, by Cassandra Clare- I kinda really wanna read these (or at least the two that are out) just because I remember Cassandra Clare from back when she was Cassie Clair, author of the V. Secret Diaries. Insert epic lulz here. But I'm usually bad with series and trilogies and the like because I get impatient and obsessive and quite often manic (DAMN YOU CUTHBERT). Her books (City of Bones and City of Ashes) also made me notice that cover art is awesome. And in the case of City of Bones, at least for me, does its intended job. Cover model = yum.

Speaking of which, there are too many series out. The success of Harry Potter is part of it, but movies and books seem to need trilogies these days. What ever happened to stand alone novels? It's not like you have to make them short. One of my favorite books of all time, The Mists of Avalon, is a monster.

I'm excited for Jo Rowling's Tales of Beedle the Bard, just because it's her, and I won't have to deal with Potter and the Scoobies (I have a love/hate relationship with them).

Rachel Cohn & David Levithan's Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist andNaomi & Ely's No Kiss List- The first one to attract my attention was actually the latter, which made me think silly homosexual thoughts. Turns out they were right. Weird. It looked really cute and funny, and then I noticed that it said by the authors of N&NIP, and I was like, isn't that a movie? So I might have to go for that. Plus, Kat Dennings is in it, and although according to IMDb and other sites I've never seen her in a movie, I SWEAR I HAVE.

Garth Nix has another series. I didn't catch the name due to FLEEING. Meaning I really like Garth Nix and don't want to be forced to buy more books. I can't afford the lavish literary lifestyle I wish to lead.

Anyway, I went looking for the Spiderwick Chronicles, 'cuz I've heard good things and I love kids books, but I couldn't find them. I found the companion guide or some other bullcrap, but no actual book. I looked EVERYWHERE. And while I was in the kids section I noticed a few other things.

A) There are too many copycats out there, and it's pissing me off.
B) They had Shel Silverstein's A Light in the Attic, Falling Up, and Where the Sidewalk Ends, but no The Missing Piece or The Giving Tree! Blasphemy!
C) I don't care what they cut out, even abridged Edgar Allen Poe is NOT okay for kids.

Finally, I came to Twilight. I've heard lots of good things, but I haven't touched a book in the series until today. Don't ask me why. I decided to give in and at least start reading it. I barely got through the first chapter, whereupon I put it back on the display table with a distinct "Ick." Now don't get me wrong, I liked the concept, but I'm already SEVERELY opposed to the main character. Keep in mind that I don't even really like the character of Harry Potter that much, but this Bella..... let me give you my impression of the first chapter.

Bella: I don't like my father, or the town he lives in, because it rains, and I like sun.
Bella: I think I'll move in with my father. *moves in*
Bella: I hate it here. *fights back tears*
Bella: *cries herself to sleep*
Bella: I'm going to this new school, which I hate, because it's small and no one will like me.
Schoolmates: We're going to attempt to be your friends.
Bella: I wish these people would stop bugging me.
Bella: Oh look! A group of mysterious brooding characters!
Bella: Who are those hot people over there?
Random Girl: *is friendly* They're adopted. And really weird. You should avoid them.
Bella (thinking): This girl is a bitch. She's just jealous. I like that one.
Bella: Who is that one?
Random Girl: Edward Cullen. He's gorgeous. And doesn't date and is creepy.
Bella: What a bitch. I'll bet he rejected her. I like him.
Edward Cullen: I am creepy and DO NOT LIKE YOU.
Bella: *fights back tears*
Random Boy: *is friendly*Hey! You're Isabella, right?
Bella: Even though you have no possible way of knowing what my preferred nickname is, I'm going to be cold to you because you didn't use it.
Random Boy: I'm going continue to be friendly despite the fact that you're a bitch.
Bella: I wish all these people would leave me alone.
Random Boy: By the way, why did that creepy guy seem like he didn't like you?
Bella: *fights back tears*
Bella: *goes home*
Bella: *presumably cries herself to sleep*

So still having time left after giving up on that, I left for the graphic novel/comics section and sat down with some Marvel comics, specifically, the House of M storyline, and the Young Avengers and Runaways in the Civil War storyline. Which was easily the best thing I'd read all day. <3 Marvel.

In conclusion, I need money for books. K bai.

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teh internets... they fillz me w/ H8! [22 May 2008|06:15pm]
[ mood | pissy ]

The popo too. I not-so-recently got busted for speeding. Big whoop. So I was going a little too fast down a hill in the RAIN. Bastard.

In any event, I paid the ticket ages ago and was done with it. Or so I thought. Then I get a letter a few days ago politely informing me that I have to taking a Driver's Improvement Program. Meaning listening to a whole bunch of BS about how I have to pay a attention to every detail ever and not do drugs/drink and drive. No shit. So I've been doing the program online, which is nice, except for the fact that everything keeps freezing up, and it takes forever for the next page to load every once in a while, and if that happens in the middle of a test it takes me to a screen saying I didn't do something else and have to start that section over. H8. H8. H8.

So now I need to go take my 'final' at a hotel nearby (how sketchy does THAT sound?) so that they don't suspend my license. And so they can extract more moneys from me. I repeat. Bastards.

In more cheerful news, Alias is amazing. Jennifer Garner is amazing, but the reason the show is so ridiculously good is because they are ALL great. Except for maybe Michael Vartan. He's just man-candy. But Victor Garber and Ron Rifkin and Lena Olin are awesomely sketchy and morally questionable and it fills my life with happiness. 50 points to J.J.Abrams. Go Alias.

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teh internets... they fillz me w/ lulz [07 May 2008|01:08am]
[ mood | listless ]

I have a very strange way of expressing anger.

I was taking out the recycling today, and while carrying a large pile of precariously positioned cardboard, a couple of squirrels decided to be funny and drop pine cones on me. One of the two projectiles struck me in the face, prompting me to drop the cardboard in surprise and yell. Now while a normal person would perhaps yell "OW!" or "SHIT!", I uttered a most peculiar phrase. "TITTY-COCK-ANKLE-SQUIRT!" I have a tendency to string together a meaningless phrase of four words, very often more than one of said words being obscene. My favorite was way back in high school, when a soda machine prompted "whore-monkey-bitch-face," which I now use on a regular basis.

Anyways, the internets make me smile. Today I was on Facebook, looking through a fairly new application that gives you these little pins. Pieces of Flair they call it. I think it's fantastic; I just wish they had these pins actually available, because I would WEAR THEM ALL THE TIME. I almost died when looking through Final Fantasy pics and one of the most popular was from one of my favorite pictures of Cloud making out... WITH RENO. I don't really approve of either person or the pairing, but this picture is HAWT. And I have it on my computer. And someone turned it into a pin, and lots of people like it. It doesn't make sense. I love it.

And in related news, I hate it when people draw/design characters between the ages of ten and fifteen who look HOT. It makes me feel dirty.

In other, more actual life based news... I think I need a new best friend. I mean DAMN. So recently, my best friend moved out of his house. Into a one bedroom apartment with several other people. I personally found this to be a silly decision, but I'm supportive. If he's had too much with his mother (who really is quite the demon) then who am I to judge? However, take today for instance. He got very little sleep last night because his roommates were being loud and drunk in the next room and the guy he was sharing a bed with kicked him in the face several times. So today, he called at around 7:00 to tell that if I wasn't busy, he needed to use the internet (which his apartment doesn't have while his mother's has faster internet than mine). He walked over to my house (which isn't terribly far), looked at Facebook for a few minutes, looked at MySpace for a few minutes, and then WENT TO SLEEP ON MY COUCH. I'll have more on this tomorrow, 'cuz if he gets mad that I went to bed and didn't take him home (which I'm going to do soon), I might lose it, because I saw him out of the corner of my eye at about 11:15, and later at around 12:00, open his eyes, pretend to still be asleep and furtively check his phone. Mind you, this isn't the first incident. His zodiac sign is a Leo, and it suits him very well. It's always me, me, me, and unfortunately for anyone who has a disagreement with him, HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

The conversations go like this:
ME: Which is weird because I thought [insert random FACT here].
HIM: No, actually [insert random WRONGNESS here].
ME: Really, 'cuz I could have sworn [random FACT] was...
HIM: Don't be retarded. {WRONG MADE UP STUFF].
ME: Well, let me check...
HIM: Don't bother, it doesn't matter anyway.
ME: I just looked it up on Wikipedia and in this book and they say I was right.
HIM: Well they must be wrong.
ME: ...

So I'm a bit perturbed.

Another thing is that he wants me to pick him up and drop him off and stuff. I would have no problem with that if it weren't for, y'know... GAS. It costs too much. And I can't afford to drive people around like a chauffeur, especially since I am currently jobless, and my mother is a tramp. Especially the other day when I drove him to a play he had to see for a class, and out to a restaurant afterward and he was like, "I'm not paying for you, right?" No. Of course not. Recently, he also wanted to buy a couple of things at Target. But he had no money. So he asked my LITTLE BROTHER if he could use a little bit of his Target gift card and pay him back on Saturday. He then proceeded to buy more than he said he would with the card and now, more than two saturdays later, still hasn't paid him back. My little brother gets on my nerves, but he definitely currently ranks higher than best friend, which definitely means a new best friend is in order. Which is sad, because I connect so well with him on a level that I don't with anyone else, but the asshole factor is really starting to drive a wedge into that seemingly perfect bond. ARGH. WHAT TO DO. I dunno. I'ma go sleep on it.

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[28 Oct 2007|04:43am]
I've felt it for days now. I don't know what. I'm moody. Restless.

The moon was full a couple of days ago. The day before was the five year anniversary of my father's death. In three days it's All Hallow's Eve.

Even tonight, I sat outside for a while, and when I looked at the night sky, I could see Mars shining brightly. The Aries in me seemed to long for something. I don't know what. But I have so much passion right now. Passion of many forms. I want to go out on the town. I want to party. I want a new job. I want a man. I want to move out. I want to travel.

I want to renew old friendships. I want to rekindle old flames. I want to start a new chapter in my life free of the things that tie me down.

I am so sick of school. I want to take classes, but I don't want to be a full-time student anymore. I want a job. Busy work. Something I can throw myself into. I can still take classes, but I won't be overwhelmed and bored all at once. I can work at a slower pace. enjoy the little things in life before going back to finish my education and hopefully becoming a teacher.

Halloween. All Hallow's Eve. Samhain. The Feast of the Dead. A symbolic time of death. Of endings. Of closure. The leaves wither and fall from the branches that nourished them. I wonder if it's time for me to let go of my branch. Who knows. Maybe by Christmas and the New Year, there will be a new beginning for me. If not, I at least hope I'll have found a happy medium.

Happy Halloween everyone, and blessed be.
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Rant on life continued [01 Oct 2007|02:11pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

So between Friday and today, a few things have happened. First of all, that class? Failed. I didn't even try at the end. The final project was SO much BS. Most of the people taking the class were already teachers who were seeking to become "Highly Qualified" according to NCLB, so half the time I was lost. The sad thing is, I was extremely capable of grasping the concepts that even the seasoned teachers had difficulty with, but in each part of the final project, you were supposed to make references to 'your class' or 'your students.' Fuck you community college. So now, since I was completely unable to do the final project and half of the assignments (something that I wish had been brought to my attention at the beginning of the class), I have failed. Which means I can't take the next class in the sequence. Meaning I have to go drop a class. Convenient, eh?

Meanwhile, I have decided that I can't stand work anymore. I made a mistake in my previous entry. I said I love my job. I love most of my co-workers. I love a lot of the little ragamuffins I work with. However, I do not love the fact that it's part-time, right in the middle of the day, pays terribly, there are no benefits, and I come home every day exhausted. I don't know what it is that exhausts me, but the job wears me out. More than it did even last year, when I had to walk to and from work. Maybe that's part of the problem, maybe I've gotten lazy. But I can't do it anymore. Part of it is due to the addition of Pre-Kindergarten this year. I want to work in a Middle or High School. I certainly don't hate small children, but I hate not being able to put them in their place. If an older kid does something wrong, they get in trouble. End of story. Maybe they complain or yell at you. Simple way of dealing with that. they get in more trouble. With the small ones, they DO NOT UNDERSTAND. the Pre-K can't even get detention. So how the hell am I supposed to punish them? A lot of them don't even understand the concept of punishment, because they are spoiled rotten by their parents. One little girl's solution to everything is to cry, because she probably gets everything she wants at home when she cries.

So tomorrow, I'm giving them notice. I'll stay until the end of the week, and then I'm clocking out. For good. I should have done it along time ago, or at least ask for less hours. Why didn't I? Because I am a pushover. that's right. I am SO easily manipulated into doing stuff. Sure I can be a bitch if you're crazy or mean or bitter, or just a bitch yourself, but if you are a nice person, I feel obligated to be nice to you back. And therefore I don't want to say, or do anything that will make that person's life harder. But today I thought a little. And I realized something. My life is hell right now. There are so many things that need to change, and, to a certain extent, I have the power to change them. And I also realized that I have things I need to do, and they may piss a few people off, but goddammit, I'm far more pissed off right now than they will ever be, and I want out. So tomorrow, I will tell my boss (the vice-principal who used to teach third grade and oh, by the way, ties for my favorite teacher ever) that I am done, and that I'm sorry, but I need to move on. I've also emailed a middle school teacher of mine. She has asked me to speak to some of her students as a part of a program she's doing, and I agreed. Today I emailed her back, telling her what days a friend and I were available, but I also did something I usually wouldn't have done. I asked HER for a favor too. She is the technology coordinator for her school now, and I know her son works in IT, so I asked her if she could find out if there were any jobs available. And although it was a simple request, I still hated asking it. I'm doing her a MUCH larger favor, but still, I hated inconveniencing a person who's always been so kind to me. People might see that as a wonderful quality in a person, but I'm coming to realize that it's a personality flaw. Of course being considerate isn't the flaw, it's the fact that I have no regulator that says when I'm going too far, when I need to ask people for help, and when to just say NO.

So now I'm job searching. I need to find a new job, preferably soon. It's become quite clear to me that with no support from my mother (actually, with her demanding money from me on a regular basis) that I need a full-time job. I'd like to continue working within the PG county school system, because it will look good on a resume, and I consider education my path in life. The perks are pretty good too. Right now, I'm covered by my mother's health insurance, but only as long as I'm a full-time student. A full time job with the county would get my own insurance, and let me do school part-time if I needed to. It would also get me a LOT more money, so I can afford to pay all of the money that my mother demands. With enough money, I can move out of my house, which will be excellent. Then, I can file as an independent, which will lower my taxes and get me more money, but also get me a lot more financial aid (which I should have anyway, but A- my mother never filled out the FAFSA this year, and B- even though she didn't pay for a cent of it after she promised to pay me back, since I live with her they assume she pays). Then, I can use that money and aid to transfer to a four-year college and live my life the way I was supposed to after high school (which my mother also ruined, once again due to FAFSA negligence).

So all we need to do now is pray that I get a job. If not, fuck the system, 'cuz I hear Starbucks has good benefits too.

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Bullshit [28 Sep 2007|11:39am]
[ mood | stressed ]

Too much has happened. Too much is happening. Too much needs to happen. Yet it's not enough.

First and foremost, I want to move out. This plan was already brought up, but fell through. I can't deal with this any more. I got home tonight from my class, which went until 10:30, and I was in a terrible mood. I'm dead tired, I don't feel well, and I have a shitload of work to do tonight before the final tomorrow. Yes, you read it right. A final. But I came into my house, went up to my room, and found the light on. I gave my room a quick once over and found out very quickly hat shit had been moved around. A lot. In other words, my little brother took it upon himself to search through my room AGAIN, and steal some of my drinks AGAIN.
I am on a budget. I pay my own tuition (which I can't even get financial aid for since my mother never completed my FAFSA), I paid for my books, I pay my phone bill, my mother's planning on making me pay car insurance, and I'm doing this all with my only source f income being my shitty part time job. Don't get me wrong, I love my shitty part time job, but I think I'm going to have to leave it. In a way, it will kinda serve them right, since they've been complaining so much and bitching so much, but I hate to leave because I know they desperately need me. I work at an elementary school and I have a year of experience at the job. The only other people who have that experience either A, work only on Friday, or B, are completely and totally incompetent. Two of the newbies are actually doing a wonderful job, and the third and fourth are fairly good, but I still feel like I'm the backbone of the operation, Monday through Friday. And I love what I do. But I'm not getting paid enough, and it's only two and a half hours a day. So I've decided to apply for a position in the county as a technology coordinator. I'd probably still work with my school in that case, which would be nice, but it would be full time, with better pay, and benefits. With that money under my belt I might be able to move out, or transfer to a real college. What I really need is to find someone to live with (who won't flake out on me like last time) so that I can finally file as an independent, and thus get me some good financial aid and less taxes taken from my paycheck. It would also be a nice kick in the face to my mother when she realizes that without me around the house, nothing will ever get done, and also, when the time comes to do taxes she won't be able to count me, which will either reduce the return she gets, or eliminate it altogether. It actually kinda pisses me off that she still dares to call me a dependent when she barely even provides food anymore.
Which brings me full circle. I pay for my own food half the time, and my little brother has the nerve to steal it from my room. Even more appalling, last time we were at Costco, my mother refused to pay for the drinks I bought because she didn't think they were necessary. Last night she drank one without even asking. What. The. Fuck. I feel constantly disrespected at home, and it's getting down to the last straw.

So in conclusion, I don't know what I'm doing right now. More on this topic soon. For now, I have to try to pass a class.

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Eat my dumpling. [01 Aug 2007|02:34am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

It has been a very interesting couple of weeks.

First and foremost, Potter Book has stolen my soul. I am constantly thinking about it and how much I love it and yet how much I want to hit J.K. in the head with it.

So a couple of days after the book came out, I went and babysat my Youth Group advisor's kids along with her friend's. The more insane the child is, the more fun the babysitting. Of this I am convinced.

I babysat for five children. Ages three through ten. It was marvelous.

While other children enjoy whacking each other with large objects (and there was no shortage of such objects), I was greeted by these children cheerfully yelling Stupefy! at each other, as the child on the receiving end, just as cheerfully, would fall over. Once, when the four older children were lying prostrate on the ground, I had to point my ladle at them and ennervate each one (the youngest has apparently been lax in his countercurse studies).

Eventually, they even tried to stun me, but after I responded promptly with a well placed Protego! the two older girls narrowed their eyes and backed away, realizing they had met their match.

Eventually, after Mary determined the spaghetti was done by throwing it at the wall (if it sticks it's done), they ate and I was relaxing briefly in the other room, when I heard this amusing anecdote.

MARY: Knock knock.
OTHERS: Who's there?
MARY: You know.
OTHERS: You know who?
MARY: Avada Kedavra!
OTHERS: *blank stares*
MARY: Get it?
ME: (from other room) I GET IT!
CAMERON: He can hear us!?

Overall, I was quite entertained.

The joke didn't go over as well with my brother, though.

ME: Knock knock.
AENGUS: Who's there?
ME: You know.
AENGUS: You know who?
ME: Avada Kedavra.
AENGUS: *glares and throws remote at me*
ME: *runs out the door*
ME: *re-enters room*

We have a violent relationship. So I was very pleased on Thursday when my mother dropped him on a train to New York to stay with cousin Sean for the weekend. When she returned from the train station, my mother and I immediately had a wonderful little conversation. Once again. Everything is the little one's fault.

Then, on Saturday, I went up to New York with the Youth Group. More on New York behind the cut.Collapse )

And now I'm home.
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Just flops right out. [13 Jul 2007|04:05am]
[ mood | calm ]

So I just came back in the house, after realizing that I couldn't go for a run in these pajama pants. They don't exactly contain me while running. I only barely made it around the first corner when I was exposed for the first time and realized it wasn't gonna stay in. So I walked back home.

Now I've returned to my computer, and am typing this from the arms of the pink gorilla. IT'S SOOO COMFY. I think I seriously have a fetish or something for fuzzy things. As Nicole could attest after walking in on me voraciously snuggling her sister's leopard print pillow. I can't help it. I'm like part cat or something. But seriously, the gorilla is a better secret lover than most of my ex-boyfriends. Less drama, doesn't demand sex, and is always willing to snuggle. Can't get that from a real man around here.

Speaking of real men, the BFF called today, for the first time all week. I ignored him. I'll call him back tomorrow, but I had one of those moments where I figured if he couldn't make the effort to call, I wasn't gonna make the effort to pick up. Petty? Maybe. But that's one of those qualities I'm well known for.

On a lighter note, I'm going into DC tomorrow. The official reason is that I'm going to meet up with the family and see the musical type production that Aengus is in, but more importantly, I wanna go shopping. Dupont here I come. Ah well. I suppose that if I want to get up at all tomorrow, I should learn to go to be before 5:00 in the morning............nah.

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On a completely different note... [12 Jul 2007|03:57am]
[ mood | still fabulous ]

I forgot about LiveJournal for a long time. Which is sad because I like it. But other people didn't, and I could make my MySpace prettier, and everyone talks to me on facebook. But the more people get involved, the harder it is to be personal. I can't rant about people who get on my nerves on facebook. My mother found my MySpace and pokes at it. My posts are now private but I don't have the freedom I once had on the front page. And both of them are populated by friends and friends of friends, so that I can't say that I feel like one of my best friends, even though we have so much fun together, would rather hang out with the popular kids than me, the outcast. I can't say that I resent the old friends who go out and do stuff, and have get-togethers, and every nerd, freak, and asshole is invited 'cept me. I can't say anywhere that I might be in love with a close friend, who is completely uninterested. He'll go for any player with a big dick that comes within range, but acts like I'm nothing. Once again, I'm the best friend, until someone better comes along. Then it doesn't matter. I'm ignored. Tossed aside.

Today I got a message from a good friend. She wants me to come over and hang with a group of people. Most are my friends. I get along with them all, even though there's a couple I can't stand. I jumped at the opportunity to get out of here, because it's so rare that someone comes along offering me a way to do that. I haven't heard from either of my best friends in a week now. I know The Crush is busy, but I also know he's got PLENTY of time to call. The Fag Hag is worse. She completely ignored my calls and emails and IMs, even though I was trying to discuss apartment hunting, since we're supposedly moving out at some point, which I don't think is happening any more.

But anyway. I'm being depressing. Despite the fact that I still feel fabulous. I'm not really even sad about all of this. It's just fact. I'm moving on, as evidenced by the fact that I've come back to livejournal to talk about them behind their backs vent.

Well. If I'm going out tomorrow. I need to go find something to wear. I only was planning to have enough ridiculously gay outfits for Saturday and Sunday. Oh well. After 8 loads of laundry, I'll undoubtedly be able to assemble several more. *flee*

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Of Fergie and Pink Gorillas [12 Jul 2007|03:51am]
[ mood | fabulous ]

I have but one thing to say.


Haha. I lied. I of course have more than one thing to say. But we'll start there.

So Aengus, the little brother from hell, is enrolled in a musical theater camp this week. I am bitter. I never got to go to anything like that, and I've loved musical theater since, when was it? Oh right. FOREVER. And despite the fact that in eighth grade, I could only go on the one trip to New York ($300), I couldn't go on the other trip to Florida ($500), even though I'd just quit boy choir the year before, which had cost $300 a year. Aengus gets to go to this camp ($1300) as well as boy choir (which is up to $500). And we are a single income family now, and therefore have less money than we did then. Thus the bitter.

However I AM incredibly pleased that I have a demon free week. 'Tis very pleasant. Plus it makes me realize just how negative his presence is. For one thing, I haven't had a headache since Sunday afternoon, and those are usually a twice/thrice a day occurance. And for another... my mother and I... *whispers* are getting along. It's insane. We don't DO that. And yet, I've had a notepad document open all day to record our conversations. Observe.

ME: *holding a beer glass filled with cream soda* Hey! What does this look like?
ME: Tee-hee!
MOTHER: What is it?
ME: Beer!
ME: Haha, why do you still believe me when I say words?
MOTHER: *half-muttered* You'd think I'd know better...

MOTHER: Tell me the truth, does this look scandalous?
ME: You're a vicious trollop.
MOTHER: *looks momentarily put out, then giggles* Yeah. Yeah I am.

MOTHER: How does this look?
ME: ...I liked the other one better...
MOTHER: *sighs* What's wrong with it?
ME: It's not as form fitting. Maybe if you had a sash...
MOTHER: I'll be wearing this... *puts on purse/mini backpack*
ME: Not the whole night, you won't.
MOTHER: *puts purse down* Come on, it's not--
ME: It's frumpy.
MOTHER: I could stand like this. *Pretends she has hips*
ME: No you couldn't.
MOTHER: I could do this. *poses*
ME: No you can't.
MOTHER: *whines* Well, I could try....
ME: You'd fail. Go change now. *leaves*
MOTHER: *changes back into the scandalous/trollop outfit*

MOTHER: Ugh! I'm nervous!
ME: Why?
MOTHER: Because. He has a huge house and a pool and I'm gonna cry now.
ME: Okay.
ME: That's nice. Now go get yourself a sugardaddy.

MOTHER: What are you cooking, noodles?
ME: Macaroni & cheese!
MOTHER: You know we have other stuff...
ME: But... macaroni & cheese...
MOTHER: Have you checked the downstairs freezer?
ME: But I want macaroni & cheese!
MOTHER: *pause* You're gonna get fat.
ME: !!!

It's like we're friends or something. Which is of course, the most ridiculous thing I've heard since someone asked if I thought Hitler would pose for Playgirl if he were alive (my answer: no, he'd be too embarrassed by his 'little fuhrer').

So in case it wasn't obvious from the conversations above, my mother went out on a date. Which means, due to lack of Aengus, that I had the house to myself. Therefore I have taken the opportunity to attack my face with everything from razors to exfoliants, and may I say... I be lookin good. The chin carpet has been forcibly removed, my pores have been mercilessly scrubbed, and I've given myself a mini mani/pedi. I. Feel. FABULOUS. I did 8 loads of laundry. I did the monstrous pile of dishes with my music on while dancing like a fool. Yes. Right now, life is good.

I've taken advantage of the free reign of the house in other ways too of course. Prancing around minimally clothed, dancing like a fool, drinking the beverages I've hidden, and most importantly, FULL CONTROL OF THE TV. I've done more in the realm of video games in the last two days then the two preceding weeks. Plus, I can be using multiple media at once. Yesterday I was playing PS2 while watching X-Men, and earlier today, was watching Charmed and playing Pokemon with the Tyra Show in the background. Yes I'm a flamer and a nerd. I careth NOT.

FINAL NOTE: "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie is a-MAZING. I've always liked Fergie, I thought she was fun, catchy, and edgy, but this is the first time I listened to her and my first thought was 'damn she has a good voice.' HIGHLY recommended.

And I love this thing:

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Oh my gawd, I think I broke a nail. [29 Jun 2006|05:35am]
[ mood | ditzy ]

Okay, so I like just finished watching Legally Blonde 2. This alone is worth a blog post. I mean Oh. My. GAWD. Funniest thing ever. Reese Witherspoon is now an official shero. Reasons why this movie is incredible:
A) Sally Field. I LURVE that woman. I mean come on. She guest starred in E.R. a whole bunch, and she did movies from Mrs. Doubtfire to Eye for an Eye. I mean that woman is awesomes.
B)Regina King. When I saw her, I paused the movie, stopped, stared, and said "It couldn't be." Then I unpaused and heard her speak, and was like "OMG it is. I have loved that woman ever since she played Fuller in Miss Congeniality 2, and as Grace in this movie, she filled basically the same role, the angry bitter black woman, only this time, she faught in Congress instead of the streets of Vegas. A+, Mrs. King. A+.
C) The scene with the gay dogs. I mean as if it wasn't funny enough, the guy mentions that he knew he shouldn't have bought a dog in Dupont Circle. I'm sure this humor was lost on outsiders, but as a fruity 18-year-old living in the DC Metro area, I busted out laughing. I mean seriously. SO true. So so true.
Yeah. I could go on and on, but now that I've hit those major points, I'd rather not dwell on the topic. Even though it's an AWESOME topic.
In other news, I went shopping yesterday at Annapolis Mall, and in addition to eating the BEST meal at California Pizza Kitchen (Kung Pao Spaghetti: HIGHLY recommended), I made several purchases which I am vey proud of. I got my little brother a video game, easy, but effective, and for my mother, who has recently been saying she wants to start journalling again, I got a Princess Bride journal (her favorite movie: HIGHLY recommended). For me, I got a new messenger bag (since my old ones have died), which makes me happy, because it's big, seems durable, and has InuYasha on it. I also got me a couple T-shirts and a few keychains, my favorite being the one with the rainbow and the word "RECRUITER." That's me, baby, that's me.
BIG NEWS!!!! I am now enrolled in driving school. I start next Monday. FINALLY. I need my licence. NOW. I am DYING here.
In closing, watching this movie has really really really brought out my inner blonde, and I have been acting like a total crackwhore ever since. I mean seriously. And even before that, now that I think about it. I guess the shopping put me in one of those moods. I mean not only was I spending money left and right while under the influence of caffeine, but I got to generally be a total mall rat and do stuff like dance on the table at the food court 'cuz "That's my song!!!" (Hips Don't Lie, which is ironic, since I have no hips), and flirt with random people (like the barrista at the Starbucks, who was by the way SOOOOO gorgeous). But yeah, conclusion: I am SO blonde, and this movie just proves it, especially due to my reactions throughout, where I found myself agreeing with Elle on fashion points and going "Oh my GAWD, that is SO TRUE!" Wow. I need to lay off the crazy pills. And do something about my nails. My left index especially needs to be clipped, filed, and buffed. I mean it's chipping in like 5 different places. Ew.

Colin out.

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I hate it when I'm all emo and crap. [26 Jun 2006|11:37am]
[ mood | numb ]

Being depressed isn't my style. I hate it. I get apathetic about everything. I want to feel, whether I feel happy or angry or anything but this lingering sadness. My phone just rang with another number with another area code I don't even recognize, which normally pisses me off. I don't care. The stupid Windows update program which slows my internet horrendously just popped up, which normally incites me to a frenzy. I don't care. I'm so bored with life right now. I just deposited a lot of money in the bank, which was a very exciting prospect a few weeks ago. I don't care. I want to get out. Out of this house, that is. I want to go out, go shopping, go clubbing, go swimming, something, anything... On Saturday night, I went to a lock-in. I felt so alive then. I came back here, and everything came back. This house itself seems to be my reminder to me that I have no life. I never leave. All my friends live so far away... Lanham, Greenbelt, Bowie... others I don't even know where they live, people from church, who I love hanging out with, people from school who I've already lost touch with. some people I felt I'd lost touch with even before school ended. People who I've shared so many laughs with, so many good times with, card games, teacher bashings, general academic hatred... gone. I need to drive. I don't care how much gas costs, I need to drive. I have a car, I wouldn't even care if I couldn't drive the Suzuki, I'd put up with the minivan, I just want out. Running isn't enough. It just hurts my feet. Metro isn't enough. I can't wak anywhere useful. I might start though. If my mother keeps up her annoying habit of going on outings and not telling me, it''s going to be increasingly rare that she finds me where she left me. At the lock-in, we did a worship, led by Mary Tyrtle, who is an amazing woman (I think she's a shaman, but couldn't be sure). I wish I could be like her, so in tune with nature and life. I want to be in tune with myself. I deny myself what I want, and it has always been what keeps me from being happy. Yet, contrary to what is on the outside, I am so insecure on the inside, so afraid of rejection. Obviously, I don't care what the random people on the street think. I've pranced down the streets of DC in fishnets before. Fuck that. I don't care what the random people think. I care what my friends and family think. After all, the people I don't know can't hurt me. The ones I know can. I promised at the worship to be more spiritual. I hope I can keep that promise, because I feel so incomplete right now. Maybe that will help me become more in tune with myself. And maybe that will help me be more open with others. I'm such a hopeless romantic, but I'm afraid to go for anything. Even what's right there. I avoid confrontation at all costs, even with telling my friends that I think they're making wrong choices, being with the wrong people. I can't even do anything myself. I've never initiated a relationship with anyone. I've initiated a few random make-out sessions, but with people I barely know and will probably never see again. Other people will ask me out, other people will set me up, but I'm either not interested or too scared to invest in it. Luckily the latter has changed a lot over the years, but the main problem still lurks. I can't start anything myself, even though I want to, I burn for compassion. With my mother becoming ever more distant, losing the companionship of my schoolmates, the fact that all my seniors are going to college while I'm stuck here, the hormones, the unbearable emptiness. I sleep a lot. Too much. When I sleep, anything can be real. And even better, what's real, isn't. It's my only escape these days. True, I'm writing more, and drawing more, but even that I'm not passionate enough about to take seriously. Luckily, the mood I'm in right now is conducive for writing, but I feel the need to vent before I even attempt to actually make plot bunnies. So I just vented. And I think I'm done.

~Colin out.

PS- I hate fonts. I love them because I can express the mood of this post perfectly with like 5. I hate them because you people have none of them.
PPS- Xenosaga II Soundtrack is perfect meditative music. Nothing upbeat that would piss me of right now, but nothing that would depress me further.
PPPS- HP/DM is teh s3x

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[23 Dec 2005|03:04am]
[ mood | OMG!Hyper ]

IT'S WINTER BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Winter break is fun. I get to sleep whenever I feel like it, drink beverages that make me feel fuzzy inside, and to hell with education!

So today was fun. I got lots of food. mostly sugar, but I'm not complaining. Also, Abbie made pretty little golden tree necklace thingys for lots of people. They sparkle. *ADD takes over for five minutes*

I mean... Drew. So, yeah, me is vewy happy about this whole NO SCHOOL concept. And when I get back, there will be no more gym! Hah! I defy the Physical Education Department! Also, I found out that I got an 'A' in English. A freaking 'A'! I do believe that is a first. I always fail English because:

A) my teacher sucks
B) they only teach useless bullshit
C) they make me sleep
D) the teacher hates me (usually because I'm smarter than them)

E) all of the above

So, needless to say, I'm thrilled, because I actually do have a very good grasp on the English language, I've been reading on a college level since fifth grade, and write quite eloquently. Finally, this is reflected in my grade, and Mrs. M-J even said this, which makes me laugh.

But yeah, so after failing at yet another game of populous, I am up for no apparent reason, and should go do something useful. Like apply for college. Yeah.
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Corpulent Bastard. [10 Dec 2005|06:40pm]
[ mood | dead ]

Who would have guessed that running the phrase "corpulent bastard" through google would get 27,400 hits? I like it.

So I was gone for the weekend, and by weekend, I mean Friday night to Saturday afternoon. I flew up to Boston, then came back today.Which is retarded. Because it snowed. A lot.

Seriously, I waited in the airport for like five hours or something while my flight was delayed because Logan airport was CLOSED. Yeah. That suX0red. I did not just type that.

But now, the question you all want answered.... How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Well, I don't know because it's too goddamn delicious, and I don't lick lollies, I suck on them.

Now, for the question you really want answered, why the @#$% was Colin in Boston? Ah, what a genius question you reading person you. I was taking a Latin est that may have qualified me to get a full four year scholarship to Boston University. Which would be nice. Because its expensive.

BIG NEWS!!!!! I JUST POPPED MY EAR!!!! I know that doesn't seem like bug news to you, but when you get on an airplane and it fucks with your head and you feel all off balance, popping your ear makes your day happier.

Continuing with Boston story, the test was a bitch. mean damn. They gave me a list with four people I'd never heard of and told me to pick the one that WASN'T a Roman lawyer.



Other funniness, the only person's cell phone to go off was mine. Which is ridiculous, because I don't own a cell phone. It was my cousin-in-law's, who was for some reason getting a call from my other cousin. Retarded.

But now I'm home, and though it was fun (and somewhat retarded, since my mother does NOT understand airports) I'm very glad to be back. Why you ask? I can't get Ramen there, unless I actually plan on living there for a while.

Onward to the kitchen.

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No day but today.... [06 Dec 2005|07:21pm]
[ mood | Soooooo boooored..... ]

Today is very boring.
It's a very boring day.
There is absolutely nothing that I want to do today.

Seriously, I'm sick of like all of my video games, I have no books, and I definitely will not be reduced to doing schoolwork. So I was surfing the internet like I always do. Surfing from link to link, website to website, until, I found what often gets me un-bored, someone's online thingy where they were getting all angsty and emo, and was very uninteresting.... until I found the quizzes. Yes, I do love Quizilla. They are funny. And I found out that I am gay and like pretty boys. Shocker! Seriously, Fushigi Yuugi never lies.

You Are Nuriko
You Are Nuriko

Fushigi Yuugi: Which Suzaku Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


Sarcastic Fushigi Yuugi character selector
brought to you by Quizilla

This is all true. Except maybe the cross-dressing part, although it is becoming more and more frequent, although I still have not gone out in public in a full sequined gown or the like.

What wonderful things you can do with Hotohori!

What Fushigi Yuugi -Suzaku Seishi is your Ideal Match?
brought to you by Quizilla

I know this is true, because when Hotohori popped up, I let out a little gasp of joy and stroked the screen ever so gently.... go, I owuld do him in a heartbe./.m I mean Drew.

If you don't get that, don't try, you'll only hurt yourself, and it takes too long to explain and I have to get off the internet soon, so SUFFER BITCHES! ^_^

Love and hugs and sparkles to all!

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Trippin on Tryptophan [29 Nov 2005|09:29pm]
[ mood | sweepy... ]

So wow. I am SO tired it's not even funny, but it's not the kind of sleepy where you want to sleep, it's the kind where you're just exhausted. I think it has to do with the asthma. Wheeze.

But anyway, so my mother's boyfriend and his brat were here like ALL weekend, which is why I have a permanent headache. I just want to squish it. Other than that, the weekend went pretty well. Dinner was good, but just not the same with out the relatives. It was just me, mother, brother, mother's boytoy, and the brat. So I was civil and ate at the table with them. My mother took this wrongly and assumed I'd always eat at the table. So when I took my dinner upstairs that night, she was like, "Why?" And I said that I always eat upstairs. So she said, "But you ate here earlier," and I said "Duh, it was thanksgiving dinner." And then she said , "Well I assumed--" upon which I cut her off and said, "Don't assume. When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me." Then she got pissy. I ignored her.

The weekend got better though. Everyone's favorite Nicole showed up and kidnapped me to go see Potter, and I met her boyfriend, and she gave me sex things and it was fun. Most annoying revelation of my life: Harry Potter is an emo kid. Seriously. The hair, the incessant whining... it all fits.

So I REALLY want to see RENT. It looks SOOO good, and I've heard it's SOOOOO good, and the music is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good!! It's so inspiring and depressing at the same time, and I HAVE TO SEE IT OR I WILL EXPLODE.


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Gonna kill a bitch. [20 Nov 2005|12:34pm]
[ mood | RIP IT!!!! ]

My mother has flipped her lid. Completely. I mean gone totally. Fucking. Psycho.

Yesterday, I was about to update my LJ, minding my own business, and she comes storming into the room and starts taking anything that isn't hers from the family room and throwing it into my room. Including Aengus's crap. And now she has said that the family room is hers, and is off limits to us. Yeah right. So I'm in here now cuz she's gone, at church (I didn't feel like going, they're trying to make us go to All Souls, and all I wanna do is stay home. Anywayz, so I'm about to click update next time she leaves the room, and she just comes over and turns the computer off. Not shuts it down, just pushes the button. Gonna kill a bitch.

But as I was trying to say yesterday, some happy things have happened.

First of all, I went to my first hockey game in forever on Tuesday. Wow. I mean just WOW.
It was probably the best hockey game I've ever been to (a close runner up being the one with like 5 fights and the part where the guy hit the other guy with his stick and he bled all over the ice). But seriously, at the end it was tied 3-3, so they went into overtime, and at the end of overtime, it was still 3-3, so there was a shootout. an actual shootout. If you aren't a hockey fan like me, let me just tell you, it's like finding an ice needle in a butter haystack on a really hot day. When you really need an ice needle. Wow. Bad analogy.

Speaking of ice needles, big Star Ocean news (for those of you who don't get it, don't try)! So I have this kick ass game, Star Ocean, and my little bro killed it and it doesn't work right. But, I managed to beat the machine, and now I can actually progress in the story! It was difficult, but I have prevailed in the face of scratched discs! So that made me really happy, but as with most things, it was short lived, seeing as how the spastic bitch that is my mother has ripped the PS2 out of the wall. I'll have to figure out how to hook it up in my room....
Oh, but also, since I went on in Star Ocean, I met a new inventor (there are inventors you can recruit), Vanilla. I knew I was getting close to Vanilla, and I was like, bleagh, just another inventor person but then I met him, and HE'S FREAKING ADORABLE!!!! He's a BUNNY! A cute little fuzzy bunny and I just wanna hug him to death! Which brings up another point, what is it with these games and bunnies? I mean Final Fantasy was original and invented chocobos and moogles and stuff, but Xenosaga and Star Ocean just appear to be obsessed with BUNNIES. It's just unnatural.

=:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3 =:3

But yeah, so I've been really extremely nastily pissed for the last 24 hours. I mean I was so pissed I scanned, translated, and color-coded Latin, made large lists of Ogre Battle classes, and wrote out numerous lines of HTML code. Yes. Yes I am a dork.

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go hack my video game emulator.

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Elephant Love [14 Nov 2005|08:47pm]
[ mood | Just Spiffy! ]

So tonight was McDonald's Night. The fundraiser for my elementary school, that I still go to on the second Monday of every month that PG County has school. Don't ask me why.

Anyway, after three or four years of having people tell me and Jess to shut up and stop singing Elephant Love Medley, tonight they demanded that we come over to the other side of the McDonald's and sing it for them. Finally the recognition we deserve! And now, they want us to sing a new song next time. Pope Trixie I (don't ask) suggested a Christmas Song, so we're thinking "Baby, It's Cold Out." Unfortunately, the only versions of that song I've heard are questionable at best. So mebbee not.

In other news, I hit Alanna with a chair today. She was pissing me off SO much. Maybe I should feel sorry for her. For some reason, I don't. Ah well. Sometimes she just needs to learn that if it's not funny the first time, STOP. Do not continue, do not pass GO, do not collect $200, go straight to hell.

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